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I'm Only Me When I'm With You
Part of the Songfic Series OA is Taylor Swift. I'm Only Me When I'm With You Friday night beneath the stars In a field behind your yard. "I love it here." I sigh. Blackpaw turns and grins at me. His blue eyes are the color of the day before a storm today and in the night sky, his pelt melts into the sky until his eyes are just another pair of stars beaming down on me. "I think you just love being with me" he teases. I swat him. "You wish!" He laughs, "You're right though, it is pretty peaceful." We're in a hidden medow he found a moon or so again. You race up a hill and go into this cave and there's a crack at the back that you squeeze through. Then you burst out here, where the grass waves softly and wildflowers poke into the air. You and I are painting pictures in the sky. "Look!" I meow. 'Those ones look like a fix!" "Look Poppypaw!" Blackpaw meows exictedly, pointing in the opposite direction. I turn and look at the stars. "That one looks like Cedarstep! See how fat they look!" We both snicker and I half-heartidly hit him with my paw. And sometimes we don't say a thing, Just listent to the crickets sing. Finally we both fall silent to one of the best parts of these nights, or that's what I think. We stop, breath in sync, lie in peace. We aren't warriors anymore, we're just part of nature the way a flower or a fish or the wind is. Everything I need is right here by my side. I'm so happy, just with my best friend by my side. He's the only one who knows the real Poppypaw. And I pride myself on being the only one who knows the real Blackpaw. I could live forever in this one moment with him, just staring into the sky, together. And I know everything abuot you And I don't wanna live without you! "We'd better go." he says finally, reluctantly. "We should get some rest." "Border patrol?" I ask sympathetically, knowng those tire him out the most. "How'd you know?" he grimaces. We pad home and take turns shoving eachother into the forest. The dark trees don't scare us, not when we're together. "If we do have that battle with SkyClan," I whisper to him, "Be careful, kay? Good friends are hard to find." He nods and hudges my shoulder, "Same goes for you little Poppy." I smile and we pad into our nests. I'm only up when you're not down Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground "The Gathering tonight will be a crucial one!" says Thrushwing, flicking her sandy gray ear. I nod, waiting impaitently for Larkstar to come out of her den. She does eventually and hops up, naming the cats who will be going. I am among them. Blackpaw is not. He looks so downcast I feel guilty and run over to her. "I don't want to go." I say. Her eyes flash and she nods, calling another apprentice, Willowpaw, over. Willowpaw bounces over, her six moon old eyes excited for her first Gathering. I look at a beaming Blackpaw and know I have done a good thing for two cats. It's like no matter what I do When you drive me crazy half the time The other half I'm only tryin to let you know that what I feel is true. "I don't think we should attack SkyClan." Blackpaw meows while we wait. "Why not?!" I meow indignantly. "They've been stealing prey!" "They're loosing territory!" he hisses back. That feeling when I wish he would keep his mind on the other Clans and on us(as friends!) comes. That one where I desperately hope he has no good friends or crushes in the other Clan. What's it called....jealousy. But the look in his eyes tells me that none of my worries are true, that he is simply trying to avoid a bloodshed. And I'm only me when I'm with you. "What do you guys think about the battle?" Sagepelt comes over. A new warror at 13 moons old, he's proud and his eyes shine. He's my mentor and I like him even though others have more experiance. "I think we need to stop it." I nod. "Definately." Sagepelt moves off and I roll my eyes at Blackpaw. He pats my paw sympathetically. Just a small town boy and girl Livin in a crazy world "So you're saying the battle a moon ago was unnessicary!" I wail. Blackpaw nods, "I don't think it was Skyclan!" 'Why?" I wail. "They killed Sagepelt!" "It was so deliberate and clear, like they wanted us to see the prey. That isn't their style. And since when have SkyClan hunted mice?" I pause to listen. "What're you saying?" "I think ThunderClan did this." Tryin to figure out what is and isn't true "But...But..." I stutter. My mind's clouded. I can't think, I wish Sagepelt were here. He'd know what to do... "They've been stealing our prey!" continues Blackpaw excitedly. "And they want us and SkyClan to fight so they can pick off both of us and get our territory!" It sounded far-fetched. But ThunderClan was pretty crazy. And I don't try to hide my tears The secrets and my deepest fears. I start to cry. "I'm so confused!" I wail. Blackpaw immediatly presses against me and murmers soothingly, "It's ok. Look, if this is true, you can take on ThunderClan and avenge Sagepelt!" I stop wailing, but I continue to sniffle. "I wish we hadn't figured this out..." I meow. "Then I could be happy just hating SkyClan for killing my mentro instead of two Clans for killing him!" Through it all nobody gets me like you do. "Well we'll make both of them pay." Blackpaw says. Even though every cat I know has been trying to help me the past moon, only his words can reach me and pull me out of the dark void where other's can't follow. And you know everything about me. "Blackpaw!" I cry. The battle parties just about to leave. He's apart of it and I'm not. He has to go, I know because I heard him begging Larkstar to stay behind or take me too. But she told him we need to get used to being more seperate. He turns and runs over to me. His eyes are scared, but he looks determined. "Hey little Poppy." I swat his ears but I'm to scared to actually tackle him. "Look, be-" "I'll be careful! I promise!" He knows me all too well, knows that if he promises something I'll feel better. Humph. "And claw some ThunderClan fur. For Sagepelt." His gaze saddnes and he nods solemnly. "I will." You say that you can't live without me! I look at my paws as the battle patrol moves out of camp and Blackpaw touches me with his tail gently. "Hey." I look at him. "I'm not going to join StarClan, so don't worry." he leans in to lick my ear and whispers as he does so, "See you at the battle." Then runs off. He really does know me too well. I sit in camp. The battle patrol left a few moments ago and I could stilkl make the battle if I hurried...but I shouldn't. Then I thought of Blackpaw. There would be cats there would could kill him. Who might if they could. I had to go. I leaped up and ran out of camp, ignoring everyone calling me back. I'm only up if you're not down I'm not going to stay in camp like a kit while my best friend could be fighting for his life. Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground We always swore we'd die together, side by side. I intend to keep that promise. It's like no matter what I do When you drive me crazy half the time The other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true I imagine Blackpaw now. He would probably be half heartidly telling me to go home. He'd never want me to be in danger. But he'd also know I'd never go back. I ran faster. And I'm only me when I'm with you! I ran through the forest almost as quick as memories that were racing through my head. Past the river. I'm 5 moons old. Otter dung is smeared all over Sagepaw's nest and Blackpaw and I are both laughing laughing.... Past SunningRocks. Apprentices! He pads over from Shadestalker and I form Sagepelt. We laugh together and start to playfight... Over Stepping Stones. Poppypaw! He runs into the medicine den and I have a thorn in my paw. It's ok...he tells me. It's ok... I fly over stumps and past trees, the world becoming a red blur. No cat can take my best friend away from me. No one. When I'm with anybody else It's so hard to be myself I skid at the top of a huge ravine and I can hear loud, horrible wailing coming from below me. The camp. I close my eyes and take a depp breath. Once again, I'm in a training session with Sagepelt. If you can't do it, no one can. ''He would encourage me. ''You fight well. You can run fast. You fought well, I think with tears stinging at my eyes, You ran fast. So why is it that you're not here? I shake away the thoughts and plunge into the camp. Only you can tell. Only two cats really get me. Only one of them is still alive and I have a horrible feeling. I have to save him. Something bad is going to happen, I know it... Blackpaw, Blackpaw, Blackpaw... His name beats in my head with the rush of blood in my ears and I dart around fighting masses of fur and claws. No one gets in my way and I keep looking. That I'm only up when you're not down "Blackpaw!" I shriek. "Blackpaw!!!" I could be fighting now, helping him that way, but I can't fight if he's out there somewhere bleeding. If he's wounded, so am I. That's how it's always been. "Blackpaw!!!" Don't wanna fly when you're still on the ground My rage is so intense I could kill every cat here in the clearing. But I can't fight, I can't unsheath my claws without Blackpaw. We always joked that we were two parts of the same cat. Who would've thought it was sort of true? It's like no matter what I do When you drive me crazy half the time The other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true. And then I see him. A huge, hulking warrior at least two times his size has pinned him down. Blackpaw's struggling, but the other cat is so big he can't get up. Part of me wants to claw my friend for making me worry. But mostly I want to get this tom for nearly taking him away from me. I hurl myself at the big tom. He let's out a grunt of surprise and flies off Blackpaw. I;m not big, but if you're caught off guard, any thing can knock you down. I claw and claw at the tom. This is for Blackpaw! And this is for Sagepelt! '' Eventually he runs off howling in pain. Driven out of his own camp by an undersized apprentice. An undersized apprentice hungry for revenge, granted. 'And I'm only me' 'When I wanna be' "Hey Little Poppy..." I turn. Blackpaw has pulled himself up. Blood is coming from a wound in his neck, but if doesn't look deep and Blackpaw seems fine. A fire is kindling in his eyes. But he's still the same old Blackpaw. 'Well I'm only me when I'm with you!' Two more ThunderClan warriors are barreling towards us and Blackpaw grins at me. "I'll tka ethe one on the right?" I nods happily and we spring at them, yowling, "For Sagepelt!" I slash and duck and whirl. Blackpaw is fighting the same, a mirror of image with me. I may be in a bloodsoaked clearing in a howling mess of cats, but I feel like I'm finally being myself. 'With you.''' Category:Artimas Hunter's Fanfics Category:Songfic